Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
