i permit you to call me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
