All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
