Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
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The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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