I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
