if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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