when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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