I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
