need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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