i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Shame is for Republicans.
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