Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
