She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
