I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Pants are for mortals
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I am mentally ready for anal.
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