Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Less talking, more tequila
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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