I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize