i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Randomize
