She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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