I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This house was built for laser tag.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
