it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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