so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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