RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
