Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
