ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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