need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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