woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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