Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
