You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I understand Curling. That high.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
