My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize