sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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