So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's like heaven, but drunker
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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