I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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