: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
