i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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