in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
