She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
