fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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