..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
