I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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