i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
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I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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