And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
