____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
