he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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