I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
