i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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