Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
