i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just pee around me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
