"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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