I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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