I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella