Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay

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  (910): Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay http://tfl.nu/jut6
  Replies (36) Good night (818) Bad night (3414)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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  (973): I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick http://tfl.nu/xw1l
  Replies (41) Good night (1260) Bad night (3825)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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  (419): It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America. http://tfl.nu/twjg
  Replies (30) Good night (2476) Bad night (1461)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?

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  (407): is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation? http://tfl.nu/cy8e
  Replies (30) Good night (776) Bad night (9384)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara

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  (740): hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara http://tfl.nu/38gp
  Replies (14) Good night (780) Bad night (5345)
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  (315): View more from New York

  careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....

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  (315): careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there.... http://tfl.nu/ypb5
  Replies (10) Good night (6272) Bad night (1474)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.

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  (321): I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter. http://tfl.nu/jrqc
  Replies (6) Good night (5457) Bad night (985)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.

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  (203): I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me. http://tfl.nu/grro
  Replies (11) Good night (5509) Bad night (989)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds

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  (914): I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds http://tfl.nu/eevd
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (1334)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.

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  (561): Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry. http://tfl.nu/ip0u
  Replies (9) Good night (590) Bad night (1415)
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  (607): View more from New York

  eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.

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  (607): eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest. http://tfl.nu/otqw
  Replies (1) Good night (437) Bad night (696)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Hydrate.

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  (703): I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding.... (202): Hydrate. http://tfl.nu/62ve
  Replies (5) Good night (1239) Bad night (438)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.

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  (608): You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables. http://tfl.nu/khc5
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"

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  (813): Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one" http://tfl.nu/9qkk
  Replies (1) Good night (597) Bad night (302)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?

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  (603): Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club? http://tfl.nu/0f4q
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (368)

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