Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!

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  (413): no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo! http://tfl.nu/f58l
  Replies (4) Good night (2114) Bad night (2731)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"

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  (847): I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it" http://tfl.nu/8m3i
  Replies (34) Good night (1109) Bad night (3599)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.

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  (651): It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks. http://tfl.nu/wi6e
  Replies (12) Good night (749) Bad night (3788)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  period poops. best. ever.

  (925): View more from California

  omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...

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  (831): period poops. best. ever. (925): omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that... http://tfl.nu/lwj4
  Replies (144) Good night (1955) Bad night (19538)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.

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  (810): I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future. http://tfl.nu/04uk
  Replies (31) Good night (1780) Bad night (6575)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me

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  (551): i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me http://tfl.nu/tacv
  Replies (12) Good night (1319) Bad night (3307)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.

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  (815): just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays. http://tfl.nu/2pfb
  Replies (7) Good night (2416) Bad night (718)
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  (805): View more from California

  Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke

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  (805): Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke http://tfl.nu/mqiv
  Replies (35) Good night (1004) Bad night (7977)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence

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  (570): Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence http://tfl.nu/3zfv
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (573)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance

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  (484): I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance http://tfl.nu/sui0
  Replies (6) Good night (683) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"

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  (214): After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever" http://tfl.nu/g6zr
  Replies (8) Good night (1437) Bad night (529)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.

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  (307): Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation. http://tfl.nu/c3ab
  Replies (5) Good night (1594) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.

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  (708): Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator. http://tfl.nu/0mqk
  Replies (5) Good night (779) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.

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  (815): I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life. http://tfl.nu/262m
  Replies (8) Good night (903) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"

  (703): View more from Virginia

  LET IT GO MOM

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  (703): Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection" (703): LET IT GO MOM http://tfl.nu/pq96
  Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (453)

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