Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.

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(207): View more from Maine

Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.

(1-207): View more from Maine

I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...

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(702): View more from Nevada

Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip

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(301): View more from Maryland

Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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(520): View more from Arizona

One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.

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(641): View more from Iowa

Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you

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(705): View more from Ontario

So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.

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