also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.