my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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