I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Randomize
