Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
