Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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