He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
