I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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