She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
