Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
