You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
