he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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