at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
