Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
bring money and cleavage
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
