Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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