Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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