this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
