The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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