she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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