nut hugger
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
