she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
operation harelip BJ is a go
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
