ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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