i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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